Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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