his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
They took my balls.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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