you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Will exercising make me less horny?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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