i permit you to call me
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
