I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.