i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"