Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
