wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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