so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
