Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
