Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
