I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize