can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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