I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Randomize
