your thong is hanging out like whoa
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
