One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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