Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
