You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
She swung at the pinata with crutches
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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