Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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