omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
