do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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