Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
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