I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize
