Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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