i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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