i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
