I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
