Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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