Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
