you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
This show inspires me to have sex in space
drinking out of a sandbucket again
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
