Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize
