It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
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I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
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we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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