Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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