She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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