Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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