I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
