I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
