I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
