You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
