Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
