Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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