The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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