How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
