He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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