I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
