Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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