Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(706): View more from Georgia

dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.

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(872): View more from Illinois

mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning

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(714): View more from California

So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(215): View more from Pennsylvania

did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick

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(248): View more from Michigan

Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?

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(519): View more from Ontario

I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex

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(864): View more from South Carolina

It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster

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(425): View more from Washington

Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.

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