i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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