Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover

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(703): when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover http://tfl.nu/rhz0

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(304): View more from West Virginia

you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC

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(304): you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC http://tfl.nu/889w

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(573): View more from Missouri

You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.

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(573): You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes. http://tfl.nu/p4s9

Replies (23) Good night (6805) Bad night (2226)
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(281): View more from Texas

FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!

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(281): FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed! http://tfl.nu/axg9

Replies (16) Good night (1248) Bad night (5094)
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(309): View more from Illinois

Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?

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(309): Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away? http://tfl.nu/ex4f

Replies (19) Good night (5200) Bad night (1007)
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(269): View more from Michigan

I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.

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(269): I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away. http://tfl.nu/ufa3

Replies (10) Good night (5174) Bad night (949)
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(516): View more from New York

My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery

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(516): My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery http://tfl.nu/njc1

Replies (8) Good night (1555) Bad night (716)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?

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(570): there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i? http://tfl.nu/asxg

Replies (5) Good night (1832) Bad night (677)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.

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(304): As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj. http://tfl.nu/nu7q

Replies (16) Good night (2670) Bad night (770)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"

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(336): By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student" http://tfl.nu/w2vs

Replies (10) Good night (2714) Bad night (635)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.

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(402): Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building. http://tfl.nu/eh2u

Replies (2) Good night (616) Bad night (396)
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(681): View more from West Virginia

I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion

(743): View more from

It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you

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(681): I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion (743): It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you http://tfl.nu/rspk

Replies (3) Good night (1215) Bad night (463)
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(443): View more from Maryland

I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?

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(443): I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right? http://tfl.nu/v6f6

Replies (2) Good night (547) Bad night (309)
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(801): View more from Utah

We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.

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(801): We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that. http://tfl.nu/wvs3

Replies (1) Good night (394) Bad night (156)
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(865): View more from Tennessee

It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.

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(865): It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor. http://tfl.nu/reiq

Replies (2) Good night (267) Bad night (74)

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