What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.