Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"