Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(410): View more from Maryland

Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was

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(586): View more from Michigan

The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.

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(248): View more from Michigan

today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much

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(404): View more from Georgia

Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?

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25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Read it at the TFLN blog
(778): View more from British Columbia

you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis

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(973): View more from New Jersey

I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?

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(716): View more from New York

Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.

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(404): View more from Georgia

I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.

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