First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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