I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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