she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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