seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
