yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
