Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
