I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I'm always down for nudity.
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