I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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