Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
