Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
