drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
