I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
