you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
